101 Things No-one Tells You About Mania

1. It is more than just being happy
2. Mania makes me feel euphoric
3. Mania makes me feel constantly ‘on’ and ready
4. Mania makes me feel a constant sense of anticipation
5. Sufferers all have slightly different periods of hypomania and mania.
6. An episode could last days
7. An episode could last weeks
8. A hypomanic or manic episode could last months
9. Mania is not always fun
10. Mania can be frightening and make me feel completely out of control
11. Mania can make me delusional
12. Mania can make me feel furious at everyone and everything
13. Mania makes me feel irritable and restless to a point where I can no longer sleep
14. Mania will make me pace incessantly
15. I will feel that I constantly need to be doing something
16. Sometimes mania makes me scratch and pick at my skin
17. Sleep deprivation is agony
18. Mania has put me in danger
19. I will have no fear
20. Fights will start with random people because I have no filter to what I say
21. I will get run over because I believe cars should stop for me
22. My driving will be reckless
23. I will crash my car and laugh hysterically whilst it’s happening
24. I will believe I can drive like a racing driver
25. When manic, I’ll drink and take other drugs excessively
26. I will drink a bottle of whisky in my flat alone just because I want to
27. When I’m manic I’ll want sex all the time.
28. I will wake my partner up at four in the morning because I want sex
29. I will begin wild and whimsical projects that will take over my life
30. These projects will be left unfinished when mania turns to depression
31. I will be able to concentrate on projects for days on end
32. Projects will be so important I’ll stay up all night – and then the next night
33. I will forget to eat for days at a time
34. I will not eat because I have more important things to do
35. I will go to the gym obsessively
36. I will not eat and exercise excessively
37. I will faint in the shower because I haven’t eaten and have over exercised
38. I will lose the ability to understand the concept of money when I’m manic
39. I will constantly be in debt
40. I will spend hundreds of pounds on a pair of shoes anyway because I’m manic
41. I will stop paying bills because my memory is impaired
42. I will stop paying bills because I believe I don’t need to
43. I will believe everything will sort itself out because I’m too important for anything bad to happen to me
44. Mania comes with it’s own special variety of intense anger that can’t be satiated
45. I will punch holes in the wall so I don’t punch someone I love
46. I will trash my possessions because the anger is too much
47. Relationships will end because of mania
48. The anger will cause me to lash out verbally and hurt the people closest to me
49. Anger will cost me many opportunities; in education and my career
50. I will neglect my job
51. I will regularly avoid attending appointments because I’d rather be doing what I want to do
52. I will walk out of a college course because I clash with a lecturer
53. I will believe I’m better than everyone else.
54. I will believe I’m the smartest person in the room, all the time.
55. My speech will be pressured
56. I will get annoyed when I speak too fast for people to understand
57. I won’t realise I’m doing this and believe I’m acting perfectly normal
58. My thoughts will race constantly
59. I will get frustrated when people can’t keep up with my train of thought
60. I will belittle people and call them stupid for not keeping up
61. I won’t listen to anyone when I’m manic
62. I will believe my opinions are more important than anyone else’s
63. No one can reason with me during mania
64. People will tell me I’ve upset them and I’ll laugh in their face
65. I will make people cry
66. Psychosis when I’m manic can spur me on to do even more dangerous things
67. Sometimes I will secretly wish to be manic again
68. The come down from mania to depression will make me suicidal
69. After a manic episode ends, I will be completely and utterly exhausted
70. This exhaustion will lead to physical illnesses
71. You will take more time off school/work than any of your classmates/colleagues
72. My memory and concentration will be impaired
73. Medication is not a magic wand
74. Therapy is not a magic wand
75. There will be times when I will stop taking medication because I want to be manic again.
76. Withdrawal symptoms are worse than the flu
77. It will make me feel isolated and alone
78. Hearing people say ‘I’m so Bipolar!’ will set my teeth on edge
79. People will compare me to characters from tv and film depicted with bipolar
80. People will tell me their jealous of the mania I experience
81. People will think I’m a creative genius
82. People won’t believe I have bipolar because they haven’t seen me in full blown mania
83. I will worry about people finding out and thinking I’m mad
84. I will worry about telling friends and family for fear they won’t understand
85. Some people, who might be family or friends, will never understand
86. The acknowledgement I will never be able to change their opinions of the disorder is heartbreaking
87. I will worry about disclosing at interview or when I start a job, because they may find an excuse not to employ me
88. It will take years for me to be diagnosed
89. I will be tested for every physical ailment linked to depression and tiredness, because I won’t see a doctor when I’m manic.
90. Mental health professionals will have differing opinions about my care
91. I will have to adjust to the idea of living with the disorder for the rest of my life
92. After diagnosis, I will start identifying what triggers a manic episode
93. I will start to identify the warning signs of a manic episode
94. I will have to rely on friends and family to identify these warning signs
95. I will have to tell family and friends to tell me when I’ve upset them when I’ve been manic
96. I will spend time when I’m stable again apologising for my behaviour
97. I will learn that mania isn’t an excuse for my behaviour, but an explanation for it
98. I will learn I have to make lifestyle changes to be stable
99. I will learn that mania is self destructive
100. I will learn not to miss mania when I’m stable
101. I will learn to enjoy stability