Bipolar and excitement don’t always mix well. Bipolar and stress especially don’t mix well. Add these together and you’re looking at a full blown manic or depressive episode, or both. Planning a wedding has to be on the top of the list for both of these, and I decided to put myself through this a year and a half ago.
I put it upon myself to have a DIY wedding. The reception was to be in a barn, with access to fields surrounding it for us all to camp in the evening. I decided to make all the decorations, the bouquet, everything. My Pinterest was brimming with images of wedding dress ideas, table decorations, and general decor for the reception. I would be up till four in the morning looking at lego figures to give to guests as favours (yes I’m a nerd)
This probably sounds pretty normal for a bride to be. However, I was on the cusp of a full blown manic episode, and I knew it. I gave into it, and became utterly obsessed with finding unique objects, or creating my own for the wedding. I spent a disastrous amount of money and fell into debt. I wouldn’t except help from anyone else, I was so determined that I could do it all.
I knew this feeling of euphoria wouldn’t last and of course, as it always does, it came crashing down. I recognised I had given myself far too much to do and enlisted the help of my mum and bridesmaids. They banded together with my mum generally organising, Clare making the bouquets, Vicki the boutonnieres and Hannah a shawl for me and allowing us to use her sewing machine to make bunting. How I thought I could decorate an entire barn that could fit over two hundred people is only known by the manic version of myself. I also gave in and allowed my fiancee access to some of the planning! He organised a sound system and found friends and family to create playlists for the day.
A special mention has to go out to Jo, from the Couture Company in Birmingham. I trawled the internet looking for someone that could bring my vision to reality. She is an amazing designer, and my dress was truly unique. I’m not very body confident, but she made me feel beautiful in that dress.
The day was a huge success and friends still refer to it as the wedding. I really should mention my husband, Jimi, who supports me through the difficult times. He confronts my illness with a calmness and assuredness that we will get through it together. As my Dad said in his speech, he is a true gentle man.
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