Impatience And Bipolar

Impatience, real impatience:

Jumping up and down

Stamping my feet shouting,

“I need to know NOW”

There’s something about having bipolar that makes me impatient. When I’m depressed or manic, I need things to happen right now.

For instance, at the moment, I’m waiting for three significant pieces of news. I’m beyond over waiting to hear back. I’m feeling restless and on edge. I keep catching my leg jiggling on it’s own. I can’t seem to move on and focus on something else. My head feels all over the place.

When I’m depressed, impatience makes me feel emotional. I get stressed, tearful and overwhelmed. In mania, I want to scream out loud – and I do. I’ll get angry and have epic tantrums. This impatience makes me feel like I’m completely out of control. I feel like a toddler that hasn’t learnt to regulate their emotions. At the moment, I would say I’m more stable, but I’m under an unbelievable amount of stress. Stress does weird things to me, and is a trigger for me

Even writing this, I can’t concentrate. It doesn’t feel like my best piece of writing. I’m so frustrated and distracted. Bipolar is complicated, as I’ve said before, it’s so much more than just being happy or sad. There are so many elements to it, all competing with each other.

I think this is the shortest post on here I’ve ever written! This though, is where my head is right now.

3 thoughts on “Impatience And Bipolar

  1. Wendy

    I like this post, the length is perfect for me right now, as I’ve been feeling the same way.
    Except my jumpiness turns into me writing too much and not saying much.
    You said a lot. It’s complicated. Not just happy or sad, up or down…in extreme, it’s this buzz that’s in the back of my head all the time now. Since my last mixed mania spell, I feel that buzz, but I seem stable. Confusing and complicated.


  2. updownflight

    I googled “Bipolar disorder and impatience”. I got a few results worth reading, including your post here. I’ve got to say that yours, though relatively brief, described very well how I have felt. And I do think bipolar disorder can make “impatience” a bit more of an issue than it might be, on average, in the general public.

    I read a blog post in about bipolar and impatience, and that writer only emphasized it in her lead up to mania, but like you, I see it as much in depression and in mania, as a symptom. Or should I also include “mixed states”?

    As far back as I can remember, my mother would often say “Patience is a virtue.” That drove me crazy! I will say that I’ve had to learn more patience throughout my life, but it is still difficult, especially when stress levels are not relieved enough.


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