101 Things Nobody Tells you about Bipolar

1. It is more than just happy or sad
2. Bipolar is a complex long term condition
3. Sufferers all have slightly different periods of depression, hypomania, mania and stability
4. Depression will be severe and unrelenting
5. A depressive episode could last months
6. A hypomanic or manic episode could last months
7. Mania is not always fun
8. Mania makes you feel irritable and restless to a point where you can no longer sleep
9. Sometimes mania will make you scratch and pick at your skin
10. Sleep deprivation is agony
11. Mania is dangerous, for you and those trying to help you
12. You will have no fear
13. Fights will start with random people because you have no filter to what you say
14. You will get run over because you believe cars should stop for you
15. Driving will be reckless and you will crash your car many times
16. When manic, you’ll drink and take other drugs excessively
17. You will drink a bottle of whisky in your flat alone just because you want to
18. When you’re manic you’ll want sex all the time.
19. You will wake your partner up at four in the morning because you want sex
20. You will begin wild and whimsical projects that will take over your life
21. These projects will be left unfinished when mania turns to depression
22. You will be able to concentrate on projects for hours on end
23. Projects will be so important you’ll stay up all night – and then the next night
24. You will forget to eat for days at a time
25. You will not eat because you have more important things to do
26. You will lose the ability to understand the concept of money when you’re manic
27. You will constantly be in debt
28. You will spend hundreds of pounds on a pair of shoes anyway because you’re manic
29. Mania comes with it’s own special variety of intense anger that can’t be satiated
30. You will punch holes in the wall so you don’t punch someone you love
31. You will trash your possessions because the anger is too much
32. Relationships will end because of your Bipolar
33. The anger will cause you to lash out and hurt the people closest to you
34. Anger will cost you many opportunities; in education and your career
35. Bipolar is accompanied by other disorders
36. Anxiety will cause panic attacks that come out of nowhere
37. Panic attacks will cause you so much pain you’ll end up in hospital
38. You may develop an eating disorder alongside bipolar
39. The combination of bulimia and bipolar sees your weight fluctuate dramatically over the years
40. Psychosis can happen when you’re manic or depressed
41. Psychosis when you’re manic can spur you on to do even more dangerous things
42. Hearing noises that you search for and can’t find is beyond frustrating
43. You will spend hours looking for a meowing cat that doesn’t exist
44. Psychosis when you’re depressed is terrifying
45. You will ask yourself ‘is this behaviour normal?’ ten times a day when you’re stable
46. When stable you will doubt yourself everyday
47. Sometimes you will secretly wish to be manic again
48. The come down from mania to depression will make you suicidal
49. After a manic episode ends, you will be completely and utterly exhausted
50. This exhaustion will lead to physical illnesses
51. You will take more time off school/work than any of your classmates/colleagues
52. You will be constantly trying to stabilise and stay that way
53. Depression will be all consuming
54. You will spend days at a time in bed
55. You will spend days, weeks, or months in a haze
56. Your memory and concentration will be impaired
57. There will be whole swathes of time you don’t remember
58. Suicide will feel like the only way out
59. You won’t wash for days on end
60. You won’t brush your teeth for days on end
61. Your hair will be matted and greasy
62. You won’t be able to complete the most basic of tasks
63. Your home will become dirty and untidy but you won’t be able to clean
64. You will feel incredibly guilty that your home is a mess
65. Sometimes you will feel so empty you won’t be able to cry
66. Sometimes you will feel too much and won’t be able to stop crying
67. When you’re alone you’ll want someone to be by your side
68. When you’re with someone all you want is to be alone
69. You will recall an relive every mistake you have ever made
70. All your negative memories will resurface and you won’t be able to stop thinking about them
71. You will need twelve hours sleep every night and will still feel tired when you wake up
72. You will be desperately tired but won’t be able to sleep
73. Medication is not a magic wand
74. Therapy is not a magic wand
75. You cannot escape side effects
76. You will encounter side effects that cause weight gain
77. You will encounter side effects that make you feel like a zombie
78. You will encounter side effects that make your hands tremor
79. There will come a time when you will choose between two disruptive side effects – the lesser of two evils
80. There will be times when you will stop taking medication because you can’t stand the side effects
81. Withdrawal symptoms are worse than the flu
82. Your condition will make you feel isolated and alone
83. Hearing people say ‘I’m so Bipolar!’ will set your teeth on edge
84. People will compare you to characters from tv and film depicted with Bipolar
85. You will answer ‘I’m fine’ when you feel desolate inside
86. You will answer ‘I’m fine’ so as not to cause a fuss
87. You will worry about people finding out and thinking you’re mad
88. You will worry about telling friends and family for fear they won’t understand
89. Some people, who might be family or friends, will never understand
90. The acknowledgement you will never be able to change their opinions of the disorder is heartbreaking
91. You will worry about disclosing at interview or when you start a job, because they may find an excuse not to employ you
92. At one point you may end up on long term sick or having to leave a job entirely
93. You will lie about why you are off sick
94. You will worry about telling your employer in case they don’t understand
95. You will feel deeply ashamed the first time you claim benefits
96. Relying on your partner for money will tear your pride apart
97. It will take years for you to be diagnosed
98. You will be tested for every physical ailment linked to depression and tiredness, except for Bipolar
99. Mental health professionals will have differing opinions about your care
100. When feeling stable you will feel like a fraud and believe there was never anything wrong with you
101. You will have to adjust to the idea of living with the disorder for the rest of your life

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